Stressing me out thank you lovely sisters,.damn you mother you dont lemme go anywhere i finally patched everything up with brittney took my like 3 days but everythings ok she still glares at me from time to time but oh well i guess..the guy (josh)is moving...not becuz of the fight or the party becuz he's parents are.his dad has a job there.YAYNESS greatness..
i'm happy bout it.so he cant get involoved anymore...but he kissed me goodbye and i smacked him.becuz he was britt's first even though i liked him..and i guess he liked me woa a guy liking a fat girl i never thought it would happen...to bad it was my best friends boyfriend..*sighz*i hate how i ingore my feelings like if i lie i have this feeling of you shouldn't ve done that regret but i just ingore it or when i still or smoke or anything thats "bad"or when i think abotu myself or when i make people comfront me...when thier talking abotu there lifes...i hate it...i mean i'm doing it right know i'm waiting for people to comfront me....dammit such a drama queen but yeah.i hate it.oh and my fucking step father isn't letting us
have fucking soda and candy and my sisters arent fat i understand if he was just doin it to me i mean i wheigh like 500 pounds okies may be not that much but half of that...no wondor Jesse dumped me even though he said i love you so much yeah bullshit and it was before this terrible weekend.....((like last last weekend))lol drama queening again...i just cant stand to see or hear or read that my friends are in pain i hate that too..why cant everything just be perfect??why?
why does god have to cuase hell have to cuase pain becuase god has a sense of humor or needs something to jack off too((no porno in heaven))fucking asshole he's kinda like a guy lol sorries bestfriends who are guys!!!i love you guys!!!but you guys dont really count as guys lol it drives me crazy.
well my wrists are better not as bad but they hurt like hell..think i'll take pills next time around*tells self STOP TRYING TO GET PEOPLE TO CARE!!!*
lol if there will even be a next time
....*ow* damn wrists damn depression.
now for you even joyment peoms that suck
why do i love you
why do you make me feel this way?
why do i cry over you why do i need you
you were my one and only but you left and say goodbye...i got over you but you came back crawling and crying sighing and saying that you loved me
but i moved away thinking no not this time go away leave dont say things that you should becuz all you'll do is leave and hurt me somemore so leave say goodbye i'm walking out the door but i look back and run to you crying seeing you though and though wishing i could just give up on you.....
love
she comes home alone not friends by her side she doesnt care becuz they make her cry...but he doesnt he makes her feel alive expect when he hhits her and makes her cry but at least shes alive
she thinks everytime he does it its outta love but if it was does he have a different girl in his bed?he makes her bleeds but yet she pleads for him to stay with her and not to leave though the door maybe someday she'll
see before she ends up like me..dead as can be.
i bleed i see that you never really matterd to me but i just wanted if you just wanted to be with me i'd see how much you really matter to me but then you leave me so i shut down my heart my life as you can see is nothing with out the.
i hate everything as you can see expect my friends who need me
to be there when they bleed when they cry or want to die i'm there you see but behind my happy smiles i'm crying inside wishing i could be the friend getting hugged getting loved.begining to bleed trying to see whats so good about being me...i hate it when they say your the best or you beautiful why cant you people see i hate everything including me.
The end happy as can be
love and peace
Rem
LISTENING TO:trapt-headstrong
FEELING-okies!!
WANTING-a hug and jake,pot,beer,a smoke
READING-MARS,fushigi yugi and the wishsong of sananra
WATCHING:nothing typeing i is
This is my thoughts,my rants,my lies,my,mistakes,my tears,my smiles,my world..and how i see it..IF YOU DONT LIKE IT DONT READ IT.