*sighz*sooooooooooooooooooo tired.
sooooooo sick of pain.of my friends hurting and i cant do anything about it!!i hate it i feel so helpless so naivee.*stares out into space*why cant everything be normal.the same.why cant people who love one another just be together and not be afiard to goddamn feel?to care?why cant best friends be bestfriends who share everything.but all they do is hide everything.why do we have to kill ourselfs by careing?i mean if it hurts so much why do we keep on loveing?careing?becuz it's what gets a though.it helps us.it makes a stronger
but yet those are all lies.loves not suppose to hurt but yet it does.gods suppose to care but yet he doesnt.i'm suppose be in love but i'm not.i fucking hate it.but i've never felt very much pain.so many others have.i drank some kind of beer last night it was called finland lime.it is sooo gross but it only took my alittle bet to be buzzing so i was happy.i have ten bucks i think i'm gunna buy some srooms or weed.maybe buy some manga.i dunno.i'll decide tommorro.but anywayz...to feel.i feel so much anger i'm never sad.*screaming*WHY CANT I JUST FALL IN LOVE!!???i wanna be held for once.i wanna hug,kiss,touch,love,have someone!but no the clouds parted and god said "i hate you Danielle"((got that from little rascals!!))i wanna be cared about by not just friends...what is love?
i mean everyone says i love you like as in jokeing ways and meaning it. it saying i love you so easy to say and mean something else or to hide the truth abotu how you feel so you say i love you but really you meant to say i hate you get the fuck away from me.?
when i say it i mean it.like to my best friends epsecailly and family.i have a 5 crosses on my legs.and a place where i just ran the blade over and over that hurt like hell.i'm so lonely.i hate it.i see other people making out holding hands saying i love you and i just wanna run up to them and smack em.
i see the guys i like being with othjer girls and that hurts...like hell.jake with jessica,joe with tiffany,travis with sheree.and i wanna puke.its like thanks for rubbing it in.that makes me feel a hell of alot better.its like a father telling his son that the sons is worthless an embarressment just becuz the son is different in some way big or small.and the 7 years later the son doesnt talk to his father becuz of what the guys been saying for years.or its like cutting yourself then screaming at the sight of blood you know its coming to the suface or you buruning skin but yet you hold back.Smiling but crying inside.emptysmile.lost eyes.
hateing this life and the next.
nothing but your past in the back on your future in the front
feeling lost?
feeling alone,crying,trying so hard to fit in evern though i never will.for outcasts dont like jocks and being on cheer.but who the fuck cares give me weed,beer and a razor blade and i'm good.maybe a book too.gotta go so laterness
For love and peace
Rem
This is my thoughts,my rants,my lies,my,mistakes,my tears,my smiles,my world..and how i see it..IF YOU DONT LIKE IT DONT READ IT.